I am not the crazy one

I sometimes feel like all I do is complain. But this needs to come out. This is what I want in life I want to help people and to feel appreciated. I want to feel loved and to love others. It bothers me when people don't appreciate my help and treat me like I am incompetent. Some days I can't chase this feeling away and I wish that I could live somewhere else. Preferably in a big city like SF in an apartment and I would have a job where I would make enough money to get by but I would be happy because people love and appreciate me. Well the fact is happiness has to start with me regardless of how others treat me.

Somewhere between a rock and confusion

A few years ago I saw an edited version of the movie, When Harry Met Sally. One of the main themes behind the movie is that men and women can never be friends because they end up falling in love. I have never found this to be true. I have had many guy friends and proven this to be wrong, until now. I'm not sure what to call it but I have been sort of dating/talking to this guy that I met a while ago. It was way too on and off and confusing for me, for example he told me that he likes me and is interested in me and then doesn't call me for a week. So I told him I was tired of being confused and he needed to make up his mind. Long story short we decided to be just friends and that we should keep our plans to hang out this past monday. Just before I met up with him I mentally went through the do's and don'ts of being friends. Don't let him pay for you. If you do hug don't stand too close and make sure it doesn't last too long. In my mind these are all things that just naturally happen with guy friends. Well as soon as I saw him I forgot everything. We ate at this incredibly romantic Brazilian restraunt and I had a fantastic time until we went to say goodbye. He tried to kiss me and I turned my head. I have never done that before. But in that second I remembered that we are just friends and he doesn't want to date me. It felt like someone had just split my heart open. So I will be keeping my appointment with the stake president tomorrow to turn in my mission papers.

Jumbleation

I have this terrible habbit of wanting to be somewhere or do something that I can't have. Example: I have a hard time enjoying college while I am there. When I was in high school I couldn't wait to be in college. Now that I am there I just want to graduate and have a real career where I actually make money. Sometimes I will flirt with guys and try to get them to like me even if I know that we wouldn't be good together or I am not really that interested. I just think it is fun to try and see how sucessful I am. Right now I am trying to enjoy the fact I am at home with my family and dogs. I miss all of my friends. I miss Shelly, my twin. I miss Shawna who makes me laugh so hard I pee my pants. I miss the times when I didn't have to worry about a baby spitting up or peeing all over me. I wish I lived in Utah so I could see a certain someone more often. I love living with my family. We have a beautiful garden that I could sit and smell all day. Right now I am eating a giant, cold dilectible piece of watermelon. I am happy but a little restless.

The Worst Suprise Ever

I went to the dentist yesterday. I was actually pretty excited because I love going to the dentist and I hadn't gotten a cleaning since I started college. As part of filling out my mission papers I have to go to a dentist and make sure that my teeth will be ok for the next 18 months. I do not have all of my teeth, some molars are missing and my wisdom teeth are too.
When the nurse brought in my x-rays I nearly passed out. I thought it was a joke. No no no those aren't mine! They look fake! Can I get a second oppinion! I just stared at those two little mennacing teeth. Where on earth did they come from?! The dentist told me that I should get them removed, and he's right because I don't have any teeth to match them on the bottom and so they will just keep growing and growing. I can pull them or get implants. I started laughing when he suggested implants because I thought it was so rediculous.
So here I am in the middle of finals week, moving on Friday and I'm getting my wisdom teeth removed today. Probably not y best idea ever... but when I set out to do something I am bound and determined to do no matter what. I will just pray for Wolverine's super power to temporarily exist in my body.

Why?!

I really like this guy but he won't ask me out. This is frustrating. And sad and I am not a patient person in this department. Maybe he just isn't interested. I am so tired of dating.

Andrew Bird

I am boycotting ugly hair

I am so sick of ugly hair! Why do people choose to look like idiots!? Here are some faux paus I hope to never see again once I leave Idaho.

Do you want your hair to look like an animal just died on top of your head?! Seriously that's what these ladies look like.

Why would you wear a headband this way? You look like you belong in a science fiction film, and I don't mean that in a good way!