Jumbleation

I have this terrible habbit of wanting to be somewhere or do something that I can't have. Example: I have a hard time enjoying college while I am there. When I was in high school I couldn't wait to be in college. Now that I am there I just want to graduate and have a real career where I actually make money. Sometimes I will flirt with guys and try to get them to like me even if I know that we wouldn't be good together or I am not really that interested. I just think it is fun to try and see how sucessful I am. Right now I am trying to enjoy the fact I am at home with my family and dogs. I miss all of my friends. I miss Shelly, my twin. I miss Shawna who makes me laugh so hard I pee my pants. I miss the times when I didn't have to worry about a baby spitting up or peeing all over me. I wish I lived in Utah so I could see a certain someone more often. I love living with my family. We have a beautiful garden that I could sit and smell all day. Right now I am eating a giant, cold dilectible piece of watermelon. I am happy but a little restless.